cardful of memories

last monday, some friends were at home discussing the church ceremony with us because we are going to help them with it. my hubby was showing them photos of our civil wedding and from the box came one particular card. my hubby absent-mindedly gave it to me. it was the card his mother wrote to us for our wedding. the wedding she missed and the last card she'd write. and looking at it, i saw one little phrase... "Jay, mahalin mo si Jang"... and my heart suddenly ached and my eyes started misting... wow! such a powerful emotion in one second... the shift from nonchalance to a deep ache was sudden... up until now, we're still touched by this wonderful woman.

mommy carmen moved already in Berlin when I came in jay's life. but she was the first most welcoming and warm person in the family. she was of course makulit but she's a Mom and its one of their job descriptions. she visited us from time to time and only briefly but I've learned to respect and love her a lot. I remember watching "Anak" with her and we were crying together as we watch this film that was so relevant to our lives, specially to her who had left her three older children behind to follow her husband together with her 3 youngest broods. I remember how she could cook so quickly for a lot of people and how she always remembers every occasion and was a constant reminder to us all to keep the contact. I remember how protective she was of her children but mostly forgiving to people who did her wrong.

I read a book about reincarnation and I found it beautiful. In a gist, it says that souls take on different lives to learn from the different lessons it teaches. that the soul cannot be damaged and that in the end, everything is not as hard and bad as it seem. I'd like to think that she left because she had learned the things that she needed to know and teached what needed to be learned from her. and that she has awakened from the dream of life.