easter joy

as you may have noticed, I was on a kind of pit the past weeks, maybe due to fatigue or bothering myself with too much of certain issues we faced or are facing. one of the issues that really bothered me was trusting people and then being betrayed time and again. after a while, one learns to protect one's self not unless you're a born masochist.

i even came to a point of asking myself if i was expecting too much of people but honestly, one just needs a friend whom one can have fun with and would not do you any harm. we've always tried to be very open to people and tolerant too but most of the time, they are the same ones who take advantage of our "tolerance" and just not have any boundaries or respect whatsoever. intrigues, back-fighting and unending competition is always on the way. i tell you, people can be so mean.

in certain circumstances, we've learned to take some distance so as not to put ourselves exposed to these meanness. that also means shutting our doors to certain people. then comes the irony of serving in the church and people judging you coz you're not "forgiving" enough when you're trying to be "maka-Diyos". if only it was that simple and if only they'll look at themselves too.

in this easter season, i've realized that even when Christ was crucified, there were certain people He was not able to convince. so if God could not be understood by everyone, what chance do i have huh? then I learned to let go and accept the fact that there would be people in my life who would not be a friend and there would always be people who'd criticize me for that. i also accept that, if the time is right, He always gives the signal and I only have to keep an open heart to feel this and make that step of reconciliation. but everything, IN HIS TIME.

and so, as this easter celebration concludes, i feel lighter. the truth shall always set you free and it is oh so true to us now. whatever black thoughts i had was because of a lie that dragged people's lives into a process that destroyed certain things, such as friendship. but now truth had shed its light and everything is clearer now. everyone's true face is being exposed for everyone to see.

whatever dive I did lately made me reach the bottom so that I can push myself up high. as long as I wait patiently. but it was not easy, filled with constant struggle with myself and others. but I did rise up and bask at the warmth of the rays of truth. and then of course life continues and I know that I'll have to braise myself for the next dive. I hope it would never lead me to hopelessness and continuous despair. i'll know he'll guide me and he has given me good alliances. and i'm truly, truly grateful.