for Christ sake...

Being Filipino, I was exposed to the church and became very active in it during my teenage years. In retrospect, I felt lucky that I ended up doing this because the church teaches a lot of things that would always be useful in life while allowing me to vent my "teenage energy" into someting productive. I was also lucky to witness so many miracles both small and big during these years and meeting wonderful and extraordinary people. One thing I held dear to my heart was finding "Belief" in God, in Jesus Christ, in Mama Mary. I appreciate life more because of this and it became my stronghold during difficult times.

During my early years in Geneva, I experienced a wanning in this "belief" because for once I was exposed to the other religions and even atheism. You must understand the shock I had when I was confronted by someone who simply said "I don't believe in God". What a sacrilege! But little by little, I had to accept this truth and that the world is big and that we are a lot of people and are all entitled to our belief.

Slowly, I appreciate the other religions and the culture that comes with it. I even loved Buddhism at one point. I stopped going to church and just decided to have a break from Catholism and Jesus cause I was curious about the other religions.

Then when I moved to Bonn, I was immediately "commissioned" by a friend to join the local choir. At that point, I was not too sure about the teachings of Christ so there were times when I had a mental debate going on in my head trying to compare the beliefs of other religions and Christianity. Thank God no one heard me or otherwise they'd think I'd gone out of my head! Completely bonkers I tell you!

Then about 3 years ago, I was again "coerced" to help with the youth group for the World Youth Day celebration in Cologne. Since I had a blast during the WYD 1995 in Manila, I was more than encouraged to do this and the ball started rolling and one activity came to another, and so on and so forth and before I know it, I'm neck-deep in the whole church-activities. My enthusiasm got the best of me and I've become active again, much to my reluctance.

In reflection, I guess I did not abandon Christ at all during the years in Geneva. It was more of finding an affirmation of my faith. In the end, Christianity molded me so denying that side of myself is denying my self. And I embrace this realization as I come full circle into the loving arms of Christ.